Timid, melodic light spilled through the cracks of large leaves that billowed in the gentle wind. Its perpetually changing pattern fell over the crown of a head belonging to a solemn faced boy.

The sunlight seemed a contradiction of sorts—it was set in the austere ambience of a cemetery, but the mourning was over Sunny.

Sunny. Just the thought of her name running through Zeke’s mind caused a sharp pain to shoot through his decaying heart. He looked as the children of Holocaust victims must look as they visited the gravesites of their unknown loved ones. Only he knew this girl well. His slender fingers slid softly down the cold stone that marked her final resting place.

A quiet hum escaped his lips as the tears ran silently down his face. His head hung like a sad, old picture on a crumbling wall.

There was a small, block script epitaph partially hidden in the umbra of tall grass blades. Zeke pushed them aside with his hands. Through his blurry eyes he read “I’ve been fighting for too long”. It was a line from one of her poems. A salty tear strayed from his doleful eyes and splattered on his knee. He traced the letters of her name slowly, carefully, as if they would disappear if he stopped.

“Sunshine,” he whispered, “my beautiful Sunshine.” Arms, legs, and head curled inward to each other, molding his body into the fetal position. His narrow, protruding shoulders shook violently with sobs that took over his body. It had been two years since she passed and the tears hadn’t ceased. He feared they would erode a permanent stream in the valley between his nose and cheek.

His tears soaked into the soft, vibrant grass that enfolded him like millions of arms and hands reaching out from the depths of the earth to console him. A hand absently sifted through the soft blades that compressed with his weight. Silver framed glasses lay folded no more than a foot away from his slightly arched back beside a bundle of long stemmed roses. The green stretched for a small eternity and ended in curled, peach colored petals.

Tall, gothic towers of an adjacent church raised their grey arms to the clear blue sky. A faint bell rang through the empty air and broke his thoughts. Slowly, his eyes opened and turned towards the hands reaching for God.

Laying the flowers at the base of the head stone, his lips grazed the rounded top.


Pews followed in seemingly endless rows leading up to a large white altar draped with red, silk fabric. The carpet lining the narrow isles matched the altar fabric in a strong, yet comfortable, contrast of red and white. The priest was already speaking in his loud voice which carried through the spacious building. Zeke settled into an open seat beside and older woman. His hand gently wiped the tears off his pale face to produce a semblance of normalcy.

The priest’s cogent words were awe-inspiring. Their very weight instilled a fear of the unknown in the unheard, beating hearts that filled the church. It was far-fetched, in Zeke’s mind, to believe in something one could not see, and yet he was hanging on every word the man spoke, as if he were hanging from a cliff’s edge.

Multicolored light shone upon the clean, bright white and was lost upon the lush red carpets and tapestries from the gargantuan stained glass windows.

His tears began to flow again, but only because of the beautiful environment that surrounded him. It was a wave of peaceful tranquility that crashed quietly around him. In the past two years the thought of a paradise beyond the stars had never crossed his mind.

Footsteps sounded around him, alerting his attention to the fact that the mass was now at an end. The woman to his right, however, remained. Her green eyes, set behind the deep creases of wrinkles, peered out at Zeke with a benevolence that knew no bounds.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you have quite the little pool soaking your shoes.” A thin smile commandeered her weathered, aged face. “You’re too young to be so sullen.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am.” A nervous laugh came from him eagerly to fill the gap between them. Their soft voices resounded off the walls and soared up the deep vaulted ceiling.

“You’ve no reason to be sorry, but what reason have you to be so sad?” The smile faded and was replaced by an expression of motherly concern.

“Two years ago, I lost the girl I loved.” Deep breaths entered his lungs to stabilize his tears. The shortened version of his melancholy was all he seemed to be able to muster. His mouth was unable to convey how much he loved her, how little time he had been able to have with her, or this unyielding loneliness that covered his existence. Those green eyes silently told him that she knew all that and there was no use fumbling for words that were never meant to come. “I guess I’ve never recovered.”

“That’s quite a blow to the heart for such a young man.” Paper like, brittle skin skimmed his hand lightly in a gesture of comfort. She then allowed for an unbreakable silence to settle nicely in the few inches that separated them. Only when she felt a sufficient amount of time had passed, did she speak. “I noticed how silently you sat during the service. I take it this is your first time in church?”

“I’ve never been able to attend a place where the unknown causes conformity in all aspects of our lives.” A shrug lifted his shoulders. “It just never made much sense to me.”

“As logical people, complete adherence to one faction of faith is not in our nature. Complete faith is dangerous,” she said standing, “but a little faith is necessary for peace of mind.”

He knew then why River, Sunny’s cousin, had prayed incessantly on the way to the hospital the night she was shot. River had only occasionally attended church, but the little faith he had swimming around inside of him demanded recognition when the life of someone he loved was slowly coming to an end.

With an amicable smile, she left him to the resounding silence of the almost vacant church.


Jonah’s slender legs spilled like water off the edge of a table from the back of an empty park bench. His tall frame was perched on the top of the backrest. Zeke sat on the ground, facing the ghost before him. Vibrancy seemed to have packed its bags late one night and left the two of them hollow.

A cigarette danced precariously between Jonah’s middle and index fingers as he chewed softly on his thumbnail. His mind was far away on holiday, leaving two ‘vacant’ signs hanging in his eyes as a replacement. Undoubtedly, his mind and Vibrancy were together.

“Did you go to the graveyard today?” It was the first day of summer, Sunny’s favorite. She had always said that Zeke couldn’t know her until summer. That was the only time when she was truly herself.

“No, I just couldn’t.” The question had taken a moment to reach Jonah and another to rouse a reply. He dragged his open palms roughly over his face as if trying to scour some blemish only he could see. “God, that place depresses me even more than I already am.”

“Incidentally, I went to church today.” The topic change sparked more curiosity in Jonah than annoyance. Zeke rested his upper body on his narrow elbows. His black hair shimmered brilliantly in the late afternoon sun.

“Really? An atheist who turned to God, film at eleven.” They shared a comfortable laugh, their first in a long time. “Did it help?”

“Yeah…I haven’t burst into tears since.” Another laugh was followed by the most intoxicating vibe to ever flow between them.

And in the cavity in his chest, Zeke could feel the tiniest stitches mending the very fabric with which his heart was composed.


He crawled into his cold and empty bed. He was a cat stretching out on its side, staking its claim on a sleeping place. The void beside him resembled much of his life: empty. A space that had once been filled, but now without Sunny, which he knew could never be filled again.

It made him think about fate a lot. Sunny was his half that most people searched their whole lives for, he knew that, but when one’s half is tragically taken away, what then? Would he ever find someone else to complete him? Yes, it is a bit preposterous to think that there are “replacement” halves (or “understudy” halves) just laying in wait for someone else’s half to be unable to fulfill its duty. Then, only a select few would ever find true love. No, that certainly isn’t it, but what if he could find another incomplete soul—could they fall in love? Zeke had his doubts.

You’ll take it one day at a time, Zeke thought to himself. And slowly, your broken heart will find its way back together.

There was always one memory he recalled over and over again. It was one of the first days he had known Sunny and they were on the roof of their school. The snow fluttered through the air and landed unnoticed upon them. She looked so beautiful against the gray of a storm, with her tiny pink nose bridging the gap between her Carribean eyes and peach colored lips. He had never been so happy and never would be again.

Zeke closed his eyes against the setting sun pouring through his window. It was then that the realization struck him—no matter how much he hurt, he couldn’t shut his eyes against the world.